


Trials of Love

by Knight_of_darkness



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Beau multiclasses, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Jester Lavorre Needs a Hug, Jester gets angry, Mutual Pining, No spoilers for Episode 95, Paladin/Monk Beau, Protective Beauregard Lionett, Protective Jester Lavorre, Sharing a Bed, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:34:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22724749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knight_of_darkness/pseuds/Knight_of_darkness
Summary: “I’m her god and you’ve seen what she is capable of, haven’t you? I could grant you power, make you into something more. Is it not tiresome to be the only one without magic, to be just average between a whole group of people with extraordinary abilities? I could help with that.”Or,Beau makes a deal with the Traveler and Jester is slowly falling apart.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & The Mighty Nein, Beauregard Lionett & The Traveler, Fjord & Beauregard Lionett, Jester Lavorre & The Traveler, Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett
Comments: 15
Kudos: 196





	Trials of Love

“The truth, Jester, is that I have no idea what I’m doing and I need your help.” His calm demeanor broke, desperation shining through.

Looking up at his favorite little trickster’s shocked expression.

“Do, do you mean like for Traveler Con because I think we’ve got it covered I know it’s like the first time we are doing this but we’ve got the green cloaks and oh maybe we can get pastries-“

“Jester, I was more referring to the whole-“He paused-“god matter.”

Jester blinked, and he blinked back. “The whole god thing? But you gave me like these really awesome powers and you’re like the best god ever.” Jester spread her arms wide.

“I’m quite surprised myself how well everything worked out till now.” He admitted. “But you are growing more powerful and also my powers grow greater and I’m not sure how the next steps should look like.”

“Like what you want to do or what I or your other followers should do?”

“I have never imagined being in this place and how much this would grow. You dedicated yourself to me and became a powerful cleric, and I wish to measure up to your faith in me. Yet I do not know what other gods do, what I, we should do or try to achieve.”

Jester’s eyes were as big as saucers, her tail flicking back and forth behind her. “Oh, oh. I mean Caduceus god is like all about nature and she sent him on a quest to heal his home and uh the Stormlord gave Yasha I believe quests and made her fight these lightning creatures. Do you have like a thing I should do for you?”

“I-, nothing I’m aware of beside Traveler Con. You already do everything I could think of.”

“Hmm would you like a temple? Caduceus god has like a few and he is a cleric and I’m a cleric maybe, hmm, but there is Fjord of course too, he’s like now a Paladin of the Wildmother.” Jester grinned brightly, exposing her fangs.

“A Paladin?”

“Yeah, they do like all the fighting for their gods and stuff I believe?” Tilting her head to the side, her nose crinkled thoughtfully. “I’m not quite sure but Fjord got like really muscly and is now all about the Wildmother and living after her rules and protects now nature?”

“Someone to fight for me?” He wondered.

“Don’t you have like one? Maybe it would help?”

Protecting things, many muscles, someone who would uphold his ideals. A step into the right direction, a concrete plan he could follow. He glanced at Jester, his eyes widening, a grin spreading on his face. This was a brilliant idea.

“I believe this would be the best course of action.” He rested his hands on her shoulders. “We will convene before Traveler Con again but for now, remember how proud I am of you and your truly masterful handling of the hag.” He spoke, disappearing.

* * *

He observed the human in silence, waiting for the right moment to show himself. The human stood up from her last push up, rubbing the sweat from her face. He appeared next to her, and she flinched, taking a step back.

“The fuck-“ She swallowed. “You missed; Jester is like thirty feet in this direction.” The monk pointed over her shoulder with her thumb, a scowl on her face.

“I am aware.” He chuckled, circling the human who followed him with her eyes, slipping automatically into a defensive stance.

“Isn’t it weird how we didn’t get to see you for months and now suddenly twice in the same week.” The monk trailed off, studying him closely.

He waved her off. “So suspicious of me? After how often Jester saved you with my assistance?” Jester’s mention did not soften the monk. “You are not my followers and I like to keep my mysteries.” He came to a halt. “But I have an offer for you.”

“An offer?”

“A boon, an exchange, I will grant you power-“

The monk snorted, holding up her hand. “You noticed how we had a hard time freeing Fjord from his mysterious benefactor, did you? And I’m not one to make deals with the unknown.” She waved over him, crossing her arms.

“Might I remind you how ready you were to make a deal with a hag?”

She grimaced, rolling her eyes. “And Jester was angry enough about it.”

“I’m her god and you’ve seen what she is capable of, haven’t you? I could grant you power, make you into something more. Is it not tiresome to be the only one without magic, to be just average between a whole group of people with extraordinary abilities? I could help with that.”

“Nice try, but I’m good, I’ve got these two.” She cracked her knuckles, chin raised defiantly.

He frowned beneath the hood. Humans, mortals like power and yet the monk didn’t want it. Jester’s descriptions made it clear the monk wouldn’t be easily swayed in his favor. Stubborn and curious, calculating and so-

His smirk widened, and something must have shown because her eyes narrowed. “I wish to protect what is most precious to me.”

“Which matters to me why?”

“Because I think-“ He paused for effect. “It might be precious to you too.” Understanding flashed over her face and her defensive stance dropped.

“Beauregard Lionett-“ He knew he had her. “I would like to offer a deal.”

* * *

Beau evaded a strike. Reacting and landing a solid blow. Dancing out of the way of an attack and a fireball followed by pink, radiant energy hit the ogre. Making it stumble and she used a fallen tree trunk to leap high enough to punch it in the face with her staff. Yasha finished the ogre with a swing from her sword. It fell to its knees, choking on its last roar.

Beau cracked her neck from side to side, eyes flickering over the battlefield. Surveying for other attackers but found none and therefore searched out the rest of the group. Tensing when she didn’t see Jester. She had been there right next to Caduceus and Caleb, far enough away from the danger, her heart stopped, fuck, fuck-

“Boo.” Beau flinched, whirling around, her fist stopping millimeters from Jester’s face.

“Looking for me?” Jester batted her lashes innocently.

“Fuck, Jes, don’t do that to me.” Beau huffed, rubbing her face. She should have expected something like this.

“Awww but I don’t get to scare you often with your super monk senses.” Jester’s lower lip jutted out, and she ducked under Beau’s arm to cuddle into her side. Frowning when she sniffed, her nose wrinkling. “It’s even uglier up close and even stinkier than Caleb.”

Beau snorted, lightly resting her arm on Jester’s shoulder. “You alright?”

“Totally, not a single scratch on me. It didn’t even get close and if it did, I would have punched it real hard with my lollipop.” Jester raised her fist, eyes sparkling with a hint of viciousness.

“I’m sure you’d have.” Beau poked her side, laughing at Jester’s squeak and squirming, trying to get away from her.

“Beauu-“

“Jester a little help here, please?” Fjord hollered, leaning heavily against Nott, his leg bloody.

“Oh, sorry Fjord.” Jester walked a few steps only to turn around and go back to Beau.

Standing on her tiptoes, she kissed Beau’s cheek while rubbing with her thumb over Beau’s chin. “You had a bit of blood here.” Jester bit her lip, her little fangs poking out. Leaving her reeling.

Beau needed a second, watching Jester skip over to Fjord, to notice the throbbing in her side receding, the tingling in her cheek caused by magic. She sighed, leaning against her staff, a blush crawling up her neck when she noticed Nott’s yellow eyes resting on her. Flipping her off, she scurried farther into the forest to investigate.

* * *

“You haven’t used the gifts I bestowed on you.” Beau finished her pull up slowly, letting herself drop from the branch and faced the god.

“Haven’t had a reason yet to.”

“You have been wandering this forest for days and faced many dangers and yet you had no reason to?”

Beau was pretty sure she heard a hint of frustration in his voice and couldn’t suppress a smirk. “Don’t see why I need to use them when I just get along fine.”

“I granted you these powers to be of service for me.”

“To protect Jester and she doesn’t need me to coddle her. She kicks ass on the regular just fine.” Beau shrugged. “But I’m watching her back like I’ve always done, so.”

“I am aware how capable Jester is but I doubt your commitment to your new duties.”

“I’ll do anything to keep her safe with the powers at my disposal, and for now it’s better to keep this hidden. Fewer questions and we can use it to our advantage.”

“Deceit.” He hummed, the hood moving. “Use them wisely when the time comes.” Were his last words before he disappeared.

Beau sighed, grasping the bridge of her nose. What had she gotten herself into?

* * *

“I can’t wait to see my momma, it’s been ages.” Jester said, one hand grasping Beau’s wrist, the other gesticulating, walking backwards.

“It will be nice.” Fjord offered while Nott beside him stayed silent, seemingly deep in thought.

She hadn’t changed back yet even with the curse broken and was coming home still a goblin. Beau gave Nott her best version of a reassuring smile, simultaneously tugging at Jester so she wouldn’t walk into a vendor.

“Whoops.” Jester giggled, holding on to Beau’s arm to steady herself.

“I’m sure your mother will be ecstatic to see you.” Beau murmured, nudging Jester with her shoulder.

Jester shot her a glance, smile tight. “Is that alright?” Jester asked quietly, brows furrowed, and Beau felt her tail wrap around her waist.

Beau exhaled softly. “Of course it is, Jes, I’m excited to see your mom again, too. And this time I’ll make your mom spill all about your troublemaking when you were a kid. I’m sure you were even then a lot of trouble.” Beau winked, bumping their shoulder together.

Jester gasped, placing a hand on her chest. “That’s so not true, I was a cute kid and basically an angel.”

Beau eyebrows knitted skeptically and Jester broke, snorting. “I might have caused a tiny bit of trouble.” Jester held her fingers the tiniest bit apart and Beau laughed, shaking her head and followed her into the chateau.

* * *

“You look happy.” Beau silently closed the door behind them, eyes on Jester’s serene smile her relaxed body language.

Jester looked over her shoulder, stopping a moment in rummaging through her closet. Beau expected a deflection, an ‘I always am Beau’ and was surprised.

“I am. I missed it, being here, seeing my momma every day.” Jester sighed, her tail dropping. “It’s nice after the last few months to be here.”

Beau nodded, not needing Jester to spell out what she meant. They got ready for bed in comfortable silence and Beau finished up untangling her headband and slipped into bed. Sighing and sinking into the mattress, which felt more like a cloud than a bed. With one arm under her head, the other resting on her stomach, her eyes closed.

It didn’t take Jester long to join her, nudging her arm until she held it up so Jester could cuddle close, resting her head on Beau’s chest. Legs entwined with hers and her tail rested on Beau’s calf.

“It’s lovely.” Beau mumbled, feeling already half asleep.

“What is?”

Beau swallowed the _you,_ tracing over Jester’s spine with her fingertips. “Nicodranas, I can see why you love it so much.”

The deep, beautiful blue of the ocean, sparkling like diamonds in the sunlight, the scent of salt mixed with spices, cinnamon and something indescribable. All these colorful shops, vendors, people. The way she seemed to find Jester in everything.

The blue of the ocean, paling against how beautiful Jester’s skin looked awash in moonlight, the smell of pastries and lavender clinging to her skin. The way her lilac eyes could change from calm and clear, mysteries glittering beneath the surface to stormy and wild, ablaze with raw power.

Beau could tell Jester all these things, but she didn’t. She just held Jester close, listening to the pattern of her breathing.

“You always could-“Jester paused, her tail tightening around Beau’s leg a moment, a hand dancing over Beau’s ribs. “You’ll always have a home here.” Jester whispered, meeting her gaze steadily in the dark and Beau gulped, her tongue feeling heavy in her mouth.

“Thanks, Jes.” Beau choked out, heart hammering in her chest, and Jester gave her a soft smile, laying her head back down on the previous place. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

* * *

Beau ducked a moment too late and got knocked back into the wall behind her. She wheezed, rolling out of the way of another attack.

The creatures stomping around were taller than Caduceus, covered in big spikes and had stupid faces. The Nein had thought they could get away with a small job before leaving for the treaty talks and afterwards Traveler Con and now they were here. They should have known everything would go to shit like always. Stumbling into these creatures on their way out of the caverns was just the newest evidence.

Beau spat out blood, grip tightening on her staff, only for another swipe of the creature to connect with her head. Leaving her ears ringing and her sight went blurry. However, not enough to not see the creature swinging at her again.

Out of nowhere, Jester’s voice boomed, sounding gargled, guttural to her ears and deflected the hit meant for Beau with her shield. Jester shouted again and Beau realized it was infernal. Even more surprising was to see a sheen of ice appear around Jester. Beau hadn't long to think about it. The creature roared and swung again. Jester raised her axe in time and cut off its hand. It roared, stumbling back, gripping its stump.

“Beau?” Jester leaned over her, grasping her cheeks, and Beau’s head cleared a bit.

“Hey, Jes.” Beau grunted, eyeing Jester, who was covered in grime and blood, her dress torn in some places.

She stood up shakily with Jester’s help, legs unsteady beneath her. “Are you-Beau duck!” She was shoved to the side, and Jester took the full brunt of the hit. The force knocking her a few feet back and into a boulder. She fell to the floor and did not get up.

“JESTER!” Beau shouted, the creature blocking her from running to Jester.

Beau roared, lashing out with a flurry of blows. The creature hit her two more times but Beau didn’t even react, desperate and hit it again and again until it finally succumbed. Panting, leaning on her staff, gaze darting over her surroundings. Seeing Fjord and Caduceus backed into a corner with another one and Caleb and Yasha also busy with one and Nott nowhere to be found.

Beau cursed, another creature looking at her and took off. Falling to her knees beside Jester and frantically searched for her pulse. Thanking the gods above as she found it. Still Jester was unconscious, her breathing shallow and the back of her head bleeding. She had no healing potion and all the people with healing abilities were far away. She had no healing potion and- Fjord could heal too.

She should be capable of a little healing, now being a paladin from what the traveler had told her. But she never used magic before. Fuck she hadn’t even asked how all of it worked.

Beau’s thoughts raced, eyes falling on the traveler’s symbol resting around Jester’s neck. Beau had seen her countless times grasp it while doing magic or praying. Beau gingerly held it, hoping she wasn’t crossing too many boundaries by touching Jester’s holy symbol, and closed her eyes.

“Traveler I need, Jester needs your help, I don’t know how to do this-“ Beau felt stupid, not knowing what to do. “Shit, just please help me heal her.”

Nothing happened. Fuck, Fuck, this couldn’t be happening, she couldn’t lose Jester-

A gentle warmth flooded her, similar to the morning the traveler had touched her temple after making the deal, similar to the feeling pulsing through her when Jester healed her, only stronger, more vibrant.

She blinked, watching dark green energy gather around her hands and sink into Jester’s chest. Giving her skin a green tint for a moment and then her breathing got deeper.

Violet eyes fluttered open, gaze unfocused. “Beau?” Jester asked hoarsely.

“You’re alright.” Beau gathered her close, resting her forehead against Jester’s, squeezing her eyes shut. Needing a moment to keep herself together. Head shooting up at a shout.

“C’mon, hold on to me.” Beau slid her arms beneath Jester’s back and legs, grunting as she lifted her into her arms.

“Beau.” Jester mumbled tiredly, wrapping her arms around Beau’s neck, hands shaking.

She glanced over their surroundings, choosing to go back into the tunnel they came from and settled Jester down against a wall. Taking off her sash to make her a makeshift pillow.

“I’m alright, we need to help the others.” Jester protested weakly and Beau took her hands, squeezing them.

“Please stay here.” Beau roughly wiped the tears from her face with her elbow. “I’ve got them covered, just rest a bit, please.”

Jester peered up at her, swallowing her protest, and nodded. Beau leaned down, pressing a kiss against Jester’s temple. “Thank you.” Beau breathed and Jester sluggishly reached up to cup her cheek. Beau smiled softly, leaning into it before backing off. Everything inside her protesting against leaving Jester’s side, wanting to stay close, to make sure she would be alright, but the others needed her.

“Don’t miss me too much.” Beau tried to joke, voice rough.

“Impossible.” Jester mumbled, resting her head back against the pillow, eyes closing.

* * *

“This is becoming a habit, isn’t it?” Beau grunted, finishing her last sit up. The sun was barely cresting over the ocean, and Beau had thought no one would disturb her so early in the morning.

“It seems to be a good time-“

“Thank you.” Beau interrupted him, rubbing the back of her head. “Shit, just thank you for helping me.”

“We have a deal, have we not? And she is my favorite.”

“I know I just guessed-, I’m not good at this being a follower thing, and you still did this why?” She gestured between them and his form stilled. “I’m like definitely no paladin material either.”

“None of my followers are typical I believe and every single one has their own form of worship.” He paused. “And Jester likes to talk about her friends, about you and I had a feeling you would do great.”

Beau observed him, pushing down the fluffy feeling in her chest, knowing Jester talked about her to her god. “I have problems with authority or so I’ve been told.”

“I never liked it myself, all these rules and expectations, it only adds to your character. And you are committed to following me, perhaps not for me,” Beau froze, hearing the knowing edge in his voice. “And you already prayed to me once.”

“Yeah-“ Beau took a deep breath. “Do you have any goals you want to achieve? Anything specific you want me to do? Maybe beside magic stuff because I’m not even sure how to use these powers.”

“I can help with the latter.” He hummed thoughtfully. “There comes a time a Paladin has to swear an oath.”

Beau tensed, crossing her arms. “I won’t make you swear yourself to my service, I trust your commitment, but it would add to your power so if I might recommend the oath of the ancients?”

“I read a bit about them.” Beau sighed. “Do I have to swear it in front of you or how does it work?”

“I might be your witness, but the oath has only indirectly to do with me.” Beau nodded, clenching her fist. Swallowing down her apprehension and dropped heavily to her knees, hoping this wouldn’t turn out to be her greatest mistake yet.

* * *

“I can’t understand her.” Fjord appeared next to her, muttering into his tankard.

“Who?” Beau’s eyes left the merry, dancing people to look at Fjord.

“Jester.” Fjord grunted. “She won’t see that this whole traveler business is shady as hell, even got angry when I mentioned it.”

Beau raised a brow. “And you thought it would be a good idea to bring it up now, in the middle of all of this.” Beau waved over the crowd, all these followers of the traveler gathered for the event. Here to honor and celebrate him and felt her own traveler symbol burning in her pocket.

“I now you’re jumpy after Uk’otoa but Jester stood beside you from the start and supported you through all the Uk’otoa business. Shouldn’t you give her the same support? I mean, what do you even know about the Wildmother? What does she want? What are her plans? Where is the difference between the Traveler and the Wildmother? Without Jester and the Traveler, we would have died before we even reached Trostenwald. So it’s alright to be suspicious of him, I am too, but I trust Jester, do you?”

Fjord looked taken aback, brows furrowed. “Think about it but for now please don’t agitate Jester further.” Beau took a sip from her ale. “This is more or less her moment of triumph and she deserves this.” Beau clapped him on the back a tad harder than necessary and disappeared into the crowd.

Relaxing the more she drank and pushing away the concerns, the problems they still had so solve for now. The alcohol loosening her up and when an old folk song was played, she fell into the steps easily, dancing with the mass. The warmth of the alcohol, the beat of the drums lulling her into a calmness. Grinning when she found the gaze of an orc woman who noted her gaze and gave her an obvious once-over. She flexed her muscles, not really subtly holding her gaze.

Therefore, she jumped a tad as someone slid up behind her, cool hands finding her hips and pulling her close.

“I can’t even leave you alone for a moment.” Beau turned her head, meeting Jester’s gaze.

“I’m not the one always getting into trouble.” Beau teased, freezing when Jester rested her chin on her shoulder, hands wandering from her hips until they were splayed over Beau’s exposed stomach. Nails digging slightly in, her eyes narrowed and straying from Beau’s.

“Having fun?” There was an odd note to Jester’s voice, and Beau was quick to reassure her.

“Of course, you outdid yourself and I think everyone is enjoying themselves.” Beau covered Jester’s hands with her own, squeezing them lightly.

“Hope not too much.” Jester muttered somewhat against her shoulder, but before Beau could ask she was pushed, twirled and pulled back in by Jester so she was facing her.

“Jes?”

“New song.” Jester held her hands up, tilting her head expectantly at Beau.

Beau listened to the opening notes, the sound of the flutes and drums, and grinned. “I see.” Beau held her own hands up, not touching Jester’s but hovering close. Knowing the song would slowly get faster over time, she teased. “Think you can keep up?”

Jester bared her fangs in a challenging smile, tail swishing back and forth behind her. “Can you?” Easily falling into the steps and Beau was quick to follow her.

Wiggling her brows to tease Jester, trying to make her misstep but Jester rolled her eyes and made faces in return. Both twirling, circling, stepping around each other. Hands never touching, they came together and moved away from each other. Jester poked her with her tail, giggling and when it flicked in front of her face Beau snapped her teeth shut close to it, laughing at Jester’s surprised expression, the way her tail immediately flicked back to herself.

Cheeks flushing and before Beau could make a comment Jester stumbled into her, shoved by somebody and Beau caught her in her arms. “I think you just lost.” Beau murmured, slowing her steps when Jester didn’t untangle herself. Instead pressing closer, face resting in the crook of Beau’s neck.

“Doesn’t count I was tripped.” Jester argued softly, nose brushing over Beau’s throat.

“Something up?” Beau asked hesitantly, having noticed Jester’s glum mood, the tightness around her eyes the last few days.

Beau had hoped Traveler Con would make Jester feel better, yet Jester seemed even more subdued, at least around her. Even if she hid it well, though, you could only hide so much from someone you spend so much time on the daily. Beau had found Jester more than once awake in the middle of the night, fiddling with her necklace and staring at the ceiling. Always cuddling up to her when she noticed Beau awake, not talking about what was clearly on her mind.

Jester didn’t answer for a long time, swaying with Beau slowly. “I-“ Jester shook her head, the sparkling chains and bells on her horns jingling with the movement. “Everything is fine.” She didn’t meet her gaze, and Beau ached, pulling her closer. Feeling Jester exhale deeply and sink more into her.

* * *

A big, furred ape hand pushed her back, the ground shaking where the fiend had hit. The force making pieces of the cavern ceiling crumble off. Beau cursed, feeling Caleb in his ape form press against her, not able to see the rest of the group.

Only hearing shouts and occasionally magic light up the cavern. Beau lashed out when it got into range, fists sinking into the weird leathery hide without doing noticeable damage. The fiend showing no hint of hurt even when Caleb hit it with his big fist. Therefore, it startled them as it backed off, stomping into the other direction.

“Fjord!” Screams rung out and a moment later she saw the rest of the group on the other end, the fiend closing in on them and in his claws was Fjord. Screeching, it tossed him away like a rag doll. A double combo of radiant energy hit it, and it screeched again, finally looking rough.

Still it proceeded, and it backed the group against the large cleft which dropped deeper into the earth. Jester stood in front, Yasha was holding up Caduceus, and Nott scurried off after Fjord. Beau’s heart stopped as it struck and Jester deflected the hit with her shield, forced to her knees under the strength. She barely heard Caleb grunts, already running.

Thoughts racing. An idea coming to mind. Concentrating like the traveler had shown her and her staff begun to glow with green energy. She used a rock to leap off and get a bit higher, her staff connecting with its jaw. The head snapped to the side and because it too stood close to the edge, it lost its grip and tumbled off. Beau landed too close to comfort to the riff herself and had no chance to evade. Claws swiped through the air, catching her and pulled her down too.

* * *

Beau coughed, pain shooting through her whole body and her eyes shot open. Another cough wracked her body and blood dripped down her chin. Blearily she looked around, not seeing much with how dark it was.

She tried to sit up and flinched, stifling a scream. Hand flying to her side and left wet. “Fuck.” Not only that, but one of her legs was buried beneath rubble.

She closed her eyes, pressing a hand against the wound on her side. “Fuck.” She gasped, vision blurring.

She attempted one more time to sit up, clenching her teeth. This was bad. Beau wheezed, dropping back down.

“This is not the time to rest.” She blinked, a green glow lighting up her surroundings.

“Are they alright?” She croaked.

“They are and searching for you.”

Beau nodded. “Not gonna make it.” Beau whimpered, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Not if you stay here, it’s time to get up.”

“As if I hadn’t tried that.” Beau hissed, a sob escaping her.

“I would offer my assistance.” He stepped or floated closer under his green cloak. “But you mortals only can take so much divinity - Beauregard stay awake, I have not allowed you to leave yet.” Beau groaned, sluggishly raising her head. “You made a promise to Jester, did you not? Time to keep it.”

Jester. She had promised Jester. And Fjord. They weren’t finished, she wasn’t finished. Beau yelped, blood and sweat running down her face. Somehow freeing her leg and clawing into the debris, pulling herself into a sitting position.

“Fuck.” She saw stars. The traveler drew nearer, warmth ebbing off him.

“Good, now you only have to stand up, I will lead you.” Only? Beau coughed, not even embarrassed when she sobbed. Crawling more than walking after the traveler. “Slowly, look at me.” Beau glanced up at him, vision swimming, and saw him push back his hood.

Copper hair spilling free and long, pale ears. Exposing his pointed features.

“What the-“

“Another deal, for every step you make you may ask a question.”

Beau narrowed her eyes, crawling forward until she could pull herself up on a wall and lean against it. Panting, every breath rattling in her chest. “What are you?”

“Not obvious? I’m an Archfey.” He stated walking a few steps further, and she hopped, supporting herself on the wall after him.

“What’s your name?”

“Artagan.”

“Where did you come from?”

“The feywilds.”

“Are you even a god?”

“Now I am.”

“Does Jester know?”

“She does now.”

“Is-“

“BEAUREGARD!” “BEAU!”

Distracted, she stumbled. Jester was close. “Guys?” She coughed, collapsing, not even feeling herself hit the ground.

* * *

Beau woke abruptly because of a loud shout. Rubbing her eyes, loud voices echoing through the walls but she couldn’t make out words. She sat up, stretching out her back and stood, wincing as pain shoot up her leg. Reminding Beau of what had happened and therefore a bit confused to be back in the Xhorhaus.

Taking stock of herself, she felt pretty good. Her head and leg ached only slightly, and she was in fresh robes and cleaned up. She shook off the embarrassment caused by knowing there was only one person who would have undressed her. 

Instead she followed the loud voices to the war room, observing for a moment the Nein. All tense, shouting at each other, and she leaned nonchalantly against the doorframe, knocking.

“Bad time? I can come back later.” She asked, gaining their attention, and six Beau’s rang out.

“Good to see you back on your feet.” Caduceus rumbled, patting her shoulder while the others stared.

“What?” Beau rose one eyebrow, raising her chin in challenge no one of the Nein took until she met Jester’s gaze.

The others awkwardly shuffled, looking between the two, and Beau was sure the temperature of the room dropped. Jester’s smile contradicted her cold, hardened eyes. Lilac eyes frozen over like a glacier, sending shivers down Beau’s spine.

“Maybe we should like, Caduceus didn’t you want to show us something?” Fjord broke the silence.

“I heard nothing-“ Fjord grabbed Nott, pulling her out of the room and the rest followed Yasha the last to leave with a concerned look.

Beau stepped further into the room, trailing her fingers over the war table. “You okay?”

“Fine, just fine, why shouldn’t I be?” Jester’s bubbly tone broke around the question, a certain iciness creeping in and her knuckles turned white around the tabletop.

Beau considered her, knowing she should apologize, beg for forgiveness. Jester would absolve her of her guilt, would smile and say she understood and bury the rest.

Just like the nightmares Jester had, and they never talked about. Beau waking up to Jester slipping into her bed or waking because the grip around her tightened uncomfortably. Not a word spoken of the moments Jester shoot up or woke with a gasp, biting her own lips to stifle a sob. Shaking her head when Beau looked at her and wordlessly wrapped herself around her.

Jester would bury this, too. Would forgiving her, yet remember it again and again, and Beau didn’t want that. She wanted Jester to be happy, really happy with all the snorts, sexual innuendos and bad ideas she had, with the real spark in her eyes. Not the tautness, the sharp-edged smile when she forced herself to be. She didn’t want to lose Jester’s trust, to lose even the slightest insight she had into Jester.

Therefore, Beau considered, licking her lips before doing something she didn’t want to do.

“This went pretty well for us don’t you think? A typical adventure for us and a good thing the traveler loves you so much, this could have turned out really ba-“ She forced the words out, every single one tasting like poison on her tongue and watched.

First, her breath begun crystallizing, then Jester’s shoulders stiffened and lastly her tail went from agitated flicking behind her to abrupt stillness.

“Pretty well?” It was only a whisper. “Pretty well?” Her voice got louder, and the table cracked in Jester’s hands, her whole form trembling. “Pretty well!” Jester shouted, releasing unconsciously a burst of ice, which covered the whole room. Beau saw the moment the taut rope holding Jester’s emotions in snapped, eyes blazing with a fierce intensity, smile dropping.

“I can’t believe you! Not only did you throw yourself foolishly into danger again, I had to bring you back from the brink of dead again, had to see you limp and broken in my arms again.” Her voice barely above a whisper, but Beau nearly took a step back at the look Jester shot her. “After everything.” Tears shimmered in her eyes. “You lied to me again, just as I thought I finally got through you, you nearly left me again, kept secrets from me again, everyone just lies.” Jester hissed, teeth bared, hands shooting up and ice splintered and flew through the room.

One shard cutting into Beau’s cheek, who barely noticed, completely focused on Jester.

“You lied and he lied for years, he was my only friend and he lied and he only told me after the hag, after he thought I could help him, after he thought I could take the truth. Because he thought I wasn’t ready before after years of trusting him and believing in him and defending him. Everybody just lies and tries to coddle me as if I didn’t know pain or fear or suffering, as if I don’t know how terrible the world, people out there can be and-“Her voice broke and tears ran down her cheeks.

“You promised you’d follow me wherever I go, you told me you didn’t mean to leave me behind, but still you do. You didn’t think about what you leaving would do to me and I know talking to your parents was hard, seeing them again opened old wounds, I understand that and I excused you wanting to offer yourself up because I finally thought we got through you, I got through you and then you do this again. The hiding, the lying, the nearly dying without a regard of my feelings. I mean how can you understand me so well in one moment and in the next you just-, it just-, it hurts.” Jester dropped to her knees, chest heaving, whimpering in between sobs, and Beau felt like vomiting.

Stepping around the table and crouching down beside Jester, reaching out but not touching her. “Can I?” Every sob, every shake of Jester’s shoulders tore at her heart and Beau bit the inside of her cheeks to keep herself collected.

Jester didn’t answer, at least not verbally, but leaned back against Beau just the tiniest bit and Beau took it for permission and cradled her close. Not saying anything, just letting Jester cry herself out, softly rubbing her back along her spine. Listening to sobs turning into hiccups, her breathing slowing and the whimpering stopping.

Beau held her, not knowing what to say, woefully unprepared for this even if she had provoked it. Unaware how much her actions had hurt the tiefling so dear to her.

“Thank you.” Beau felt Jester stiffen in her arms. “Just, thank you for trusting me enough to show me this, even if I don’t deserve it right now.” Beau kissed Jester’s shoulder, inhaling deeply. “I am sorry Jester and I know you must be tired of hearing this after everything but I am and you’re right to be angry with me. I was inconsiderate and a real asshole, so far up my ass I didn’t realize how much my behavior was hurting you too. Fuck, hurting you was the last thing I wanted and I’m sure these words must sound shallow to you after everything but it’s true.”

Beau gulped, closing her eyes. Swallowing the I love you clawing at her throat, it wouldn’t be fair to tell Jester now and she didn’t want to, not like this. Jester deserved better. “I promise you, this won’t happen again. You don’t have to believe me now, I plan on showing you, I mean it, I get it right this time.” Beau trailed off when Jester’s hand grasped hers, interweaving their fingers over her stomach and fully rested her weight on Beau. Head leaned back, resting on Beau’s shoulder, eyes closed. Cheeks glistening with tear tracks.

Beau carefully with her free hand wiped them away, freezing as Jester’s eyes opened, meeting hers.

“Okay.” Jester whispered hoarsely before closing them again.

* * *

“Why won’t you let me heal you?” Jester cupped her cheek, thumb tracing over the cut on Beau’s cheek.

“It doesn’t hurt.” Beau shrugged, glancing away from Jester to the dark sky overhead, illuminated by the lights hanging from the tree. “And in a way it’s like a badge of honor.” Beau’s lips tugged upwards in a crooked grin, and Jester tilted her head.

“Badge of honor?”

“Yeah, I got to see the magnificent Cleric Jester Lavorre angry, and I survived.” Jester chewed on her lip, shying away from Beau’s gaze.

“I don’t like it.” Jester took her hand, playing with her fingers. “Feeling angry, being angry.” Jester frowned. “But in a way, I guess it felt good to let it out, you know. Not at first because my chest felt so tight and it left me feeling so empty, so lost. But now I feel, not lighter but-“ Jester pursed her lips. “Breathing easier? Does that make sense?”

“It does and I’m sorry-“

“Stop apologizing.” Jester interrupted her, squeezing her hand. “You said you would work on it and just show me, alright?” Jester paused, searching Beau’s face, contemplating something with how restless her tail was.

“Ask.” Beau offered.

“Is there something else you’d like to tell me?” Jester leaned closer, something expectant in her gaze, in her body language, something brimming close to surface.

“I already told you everything.” Beau said until she noticed Jester deflate.

“You know.” Beau choked out, feeling like someone was strangling her, heart hammering against her chest.

“Do I?” Jester wiggled closer, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Do I have to say it?”

“I would like to hear it.” Jester stated softly, eyes not leaving Beau’s, and she nodded, inhaling sharply.

“I’m in love with you Jester.” The words felt unfamiliar on her tongue, and she closed her eyes in mortification.

“Don’t look away.” Jester murmured, easily wiggling closer until she leaned over Beau. Semi-straddling Beau, who stopped breathing altogether with Jester so close. “I’m in love with you too.” Jester whispered, eyes flickering from Beau’s eyes to her lips. “I’m going to kiss you now.” And she did, lips brushing ever so slightly over Beau’s, noses grazing each other and pressed closer. Beau sighed, resting her hands on Jester’s back, pulling her closer, so she was lying on Beau.

“Wow.” Jester murmured against her lips, giving her another short kiss and another, cupping her cheeks. Laughing softly before leaning in again. Tongue tracing over Beau’s bottom lip and enthusiastically licking into her mouth as Beau granted her entrance. Humming against her lips and Beau moaned, lightly running her fingers up along Jester’s head.

Left panting when Jester pulled back, a stupid grin on her face. Jester brushed their noses together, pecking her lips, cheek, jaw. Nudging against the latter so Beau bared her neck and Jester nuzzled into it, trailing kisses down her throat. Beau sighed, holding her closer as Jester used her teeth to first nibble then bite and suck on her pulse point. Beau growled, grip on Jester’s waist tightening. Her whole body buzzing.

“There.” Jester murmured hotly, eyes dark, fangs glinting predatory and Beau shivered, reaching up to cup Jester’s check, thumb tracing over Jester’s slightly swollen lips. Arching up to kiss her again.

Jester made a purr like sound when they broke apart, folding her hands on Beau’s chest, resting her head on top of them. Eyes smoldering, a secretive smile adorning her lips not unlike the one she got when she pranked someone successfully.

“Wait, did you give me a hickey?” Beau asked, mind clearing a bit.

Jester giggled, not looking guilty and all. “Hmm, you could see it as a badge of my love.”

“Then I hope it never fades.”

“I’ll make sure of it.” Jester whispered, and Beau sighed in content, playing with Jester’s hair and looking up at the lights. Quite sure she saw them for a split second glow green.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys,  
> like always I hope you enjoyed reading! :)  
> I don't know much about D&D and the only things know about Paladins are from the Critcal Role Handbook helper, also I read that multiclassing Monk/Paladin is not a good choice so it wouldn't make sense in canon but kinda liked the idea? Also I haven't watched Episode 95 yet.
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day, thank you for reading and until next time! :)


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